In It Together

So, recently some members of my family have expressed concern over my "isolating" career choice. They worry that because I work from home I'm not getting enough social and professional interaction.

Okay, yes. I'm not six. My family doesn't need to worry about whether I'm socialized or not.

But the concern WAS something I found I wanted to address.

Yes, when my husband was deployed, there were days, weeks even, when I felt lonely. When I missed having someone to go out to dinner with. Or to the movies with. I did these things with friends, but it wasn't quite the same. The thing is, this had a hell of a lot more to do with MAJOR HOTSAUCE being gone than it did my job. While MH was deployed, did I miss going into an office every day? Was I sad that I wasn't being forced to interact with people professionally every day, whether I felt like it or not?

Short answer: NO.

The truth is, if I'd had one those kinds of jobs (especially my last job, as a tech writer, which was SOUL KILLING) things would have been a LOT worse. If you have to be away from the person you love, do you want to be showing up in an office every day (Some of which, I might add, don't allow you to instant message your deployed spouse, even though it's the only time he's available.)? Or do you want to be doing something that makes you heart and soul happy?

Since I started writing full time - since I started discussing the trials and tribulations of the writing life on forums like Absolute Write and connecting with authors, editors, librarians, and agents on Twitter - I have NEVER felt alone the way I did in an office, surrounded by people who JUST DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.

It wasn't their fault. I didn't have day jobs with other writers, with people who cared about books or reading or wanted to discuss for hours the state of publishing or what ebooks mean for the future of the industry. (Sadly. I'm sure THOSE kinds of office jobs are AWESOME.)

Now, I do have that kind of job. Now, because of the wonder of the internet, I can be in my house and at the same time connected with a whole world of soul sisters, kindred spirits, mentors, friends. I can have a discussion about character development or commiserate about how brutal this business is, or celebrate fantastic news.

I am NEVER alone if I don't want to be.

In all those "real" jobs where I showed up to an office everyday and exchanged pleasantries with my coworkers, it was always surface streets. Now, some of those coworkers became close friends because we DID share a love of books and an interest in the industry (or an interest in really, really tasty food). But for the most part, going into an office everyday made me feel MORE isolated. And worse, sitting at a computer all day NOT writing wore me out enough that when I got home, I COULDN't write.

Even on my worst day as a full-time writer....even when I'm crying and snotty and scared shitless I'm never going to make it in this business, even when I HATE that my husband is supporting me financially and my little feminist heart rebels at the thought that I'm bringing in NO bacon whatsoever at the moment....even then, I'm still happier than I have ever been in any other job I've ever had.

I'm chasing a dream I've had since I was five years old.

I'm creating SOMETHING out of NOTHING every single day.

I'm meeting - if only online - some of the most interesting, generous, talented, and inspiring people I've ever known.

So no. I don't feel isolated by my career choice. I don't feel like I need more socialization. What I feel is really, really lucky that I have this opportunity. That I get to spend long, quiet, uninterrupted days with all the varied, interesting characters and worlds my mind can imagine...and with the varied, interesting writers, agents, librarians, and editors who make the "real" world infinitely more beautiful and fun to be a part of.

Thanks Shari, Mandy, Susanne, Cory, Jennifer, and all you lovely folks on Twitter and AW. You're the best "coworkers" ever. :-)

Btw, this post was further inspired by Mandy's post on basically the same topic, which reminded me just how frustrated I get when the "you're isolating yourself" argument comes up. Thanks Mandy!